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From Trailing Spouse to Support Partner

Writer's picture: Ryan Cleeren, LCSW, MSW, MBARyan Cleeren, LCSW, MSW, MBA

expat trailing spouse

The term "trailing spouse" has become outdated. It implies that the non-working partner merely follows their spouse's career path without much agency. In reality, the "support partner" plays a vital role in the success of an expat assignment. This shift in terminology reflects the evolving identity of the non-working partner, recognizing their active contribution to the family’s expat experience.



The Role of a Support Partner

When one partner relocates for an international assignment, the other often takes on the role of support partner—balancing the transition into a new culture, home life, and family dynamics. While the professional partner is focused on work, the support partner navigates the complexities of building a new life in a foreign environment.

However, support partners face several challenges:

  • Identity and Career Loss: Leaving behind a professional career and identity can leave support partners questioning their purpose.

  • Isolation and Loneliness: Being in a new country without an established support system can lead to feelings of loneliness.

  • Cultural Adjustment: Adapting to a new culture, language, and environment can lead to culture shock.

  • Limited Career Opportunities: Visa restrictions and local job availability can make finding meaningful work difficult.

  • Dependence: Relying on the working partner for finances and logistics can impact independence and self-esteem.


Thriving as a Support Partner

Though these challenges are real, support partners can thrive by adopting proactive strategies:

  1. Self-Exploration: Use this time to discover new passions. Consider online courses, volunteering, or new hobbies.

  2. Networking: Build connections within local expat and social communities for friendship and support.

  3. Cultural Integration: Learn the local language, immerse yourself in cultural activities, and try local foods to ease adaptation.

  4. Remote Work and Freelancing: Explore opportunities for flexible work options that provide financial independence and purpose.

  5. Professional Development: Invest in personal and career development through certifications or skill-building programs.

  6. Open Communication: Maintain ongoing dialogue with your partner about both your needs and goals during the assignment.


Conclusion

The role of the support partner is evolving, reflecting their significance in ensuring a successful expat experience. Far from trailing behind, support partners are active contributors to family life abroad, and with the right mindset and resources, they can embrace this transformative journey. By redefining the "trailing spouse" to "support partner," we acknowledge the powerful impact of their role, allowing them to grow and thrive alongside their working partner.


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