Challenging Gaslighting and Advocating for Change

In recent days, I've found myself involved in multiple forms of dialogue around a very concerning incident. There is one angry little fella who insists that his perspective is the only valid one. When I don’t agree, he engages in a frustrating cycle of repetition, expecting that if he says the same thing often enough, I’ll finally concede. This kind of interaction isn’t just annoying; it highlights a more significant issue we see all too often in our cultural dialogue: gaslighting.

As a therapist, I can tell you that gaslighting is a term I’ve used for a long time, but it’s only recently gaining attention in our society. Gaslighting occurs when someone tries to devalue your beliefs or experiences, making you question your reality. This tactic is often employed by those who feel threatened or know they’re wrong, hoping to manipulate the narrative in their favor.

If you find yourself in situations where someone is gaslighting you, listen to that little voice in your head that says, “Hey, this doesn’t feel accurate.” It’s vital to acknowledge your experiences and emotions. If you’ve been gaslit frequently, you might start doubting yourself, thinking, "Maybe I am overreacting," or "Maybe they’re right, and I’m wrong for being upset."

Let me give you permission—yes, even if you think you don’t need it—to pause. Take a deep breath and reflect. Ask yourself if what they are saying aligns with your lived experience. If it doesn’t, stand your ground. Your feelings are valid, and your experiences matter.

Engaging with someone who employs gaslighting can be intimidating. I recognize my privilege in having the personality (and at times lack of a filter) to call people out when they are doing this. It’s okay if you do not have the safety or ability to speak out. So, here is what you do: If the situation becomes overwhelming, excuse yourself from the conversation. Use whatever excuse you need—even shouting out that you have diarrhea and running from the gaslighter. What matters is preserving your mental health and well-being.

We can all agree to disagree on various issues, including intentions, reasoning, or solutions, but we can never disagree about your feelings or experiences. They belong to you, and you have the right to express them without fear of invalidation.

Stand firm in your principles and values. You don’t have to be liked; you just need to be true to yourself. Sometimes that means pushing back against others and making it clear that their messaging doesn’t resonate with you. Your voice deserves to be heard, and your truth must be recognized.

Let’s prioritize authenticity over appeasement, create spaces where every experience is valid, and collectively challenge the gaslighting that diminishes our voices. It’s time to stand strong and advocate for ourselves and each other. I'd love to hear how you recognize and stand up to gaslighting in your world.